Melody Brooke MA, LPC, LMFT is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of “ This is Great Sex Workbook” Melody is founder of the non-profit group CompassionMovement.org which helps trauma victims and families in conflict and has many years of experience working with couples. Melody has been published in magazines, professional journals and in multiple places on the web including askdanandjennifer.com, a wildly popular dating site where she is a regular contributor. Melody shared with us her six best kept secrets for a fun committed relationship.
1. Everything is Foreplay: Every interaction you have with your partner during the day is foreplay. Recognizing that your mood and tone transfer to your partner and ultimately into the intimacy of the relationship. Helping to manage one another’s stress by being a compassionate listener or helping with everyday chores will always set the tone for opportunity and intimacy.
2. Kisses are Important : Every time you leave one another taking a moment to have skin to skin contact reinforces that your partner is important to you and improves every couples health , both physically and emotionally. Men in particular are taught at an early age to be “touch deprived” which can have negative impact on relationships. Skin to skin contact can increase the development of a chemical in your body called Oxytocin which increases blood flow, releases endorphins and can provide an overall sense of wellness and extended life.
3. Set a Bedtime and keep it : Going to bed together at the same every night gives couples a daily opportunity for one-on –one time ( sexual or not.) Couples spend on average 6 minutes each day communicating with one another which is not nearly enough for a healthy relationship to thrive and flourish. Having this alone time in a secure comfortable place will extend the time you communicate. Intimate communication naturally increases during this time and studies show that physical communication is more important than verbal communication for general relationship health.
4. Always Sleep Naked : Whether or not you are planning on having sex sleeping naked will increase the opportunity for sexual intimacy with less fan fare and pressure. It allows for spontaneity and fun, even if you are not in the mood being naked together suggests that you are more likely to have sex more often.
5. Empathy and Compassion : Showing your partner that you are compassionate and not defensive re-enforces that “ nothing is personal” Everyone comes with some level of baggage, most “ hang ups” are often times the result of some past experience which is projected upon our partners. Understanding your partners past experiences and biases can help you develop this empathy for your partner builds trust in the relationship. Trust leads to more open intimacy and can be transferred to the bedroom later.
6. Play Together : Life is difficult.,….. a lot of work. If you don’t play and find enjoyment in your life together you will not see the value in staying together. Play makes life worth living, Do things together that you both enjoy or have interest in learning about. Make your play time together a priority in your life !
Tags: Foreplay, Melody Brooke, Relationships
